Hacker = 黑客 = black rogue(??)~ short for BR
Pc newbie = 小白 = xiao bai ( most probably Ms white) ~ short for XB
A conversation between BR and XB
BR:I am now in control of your PC
XB：How did you do it?
BR：By using a trojan
XB：...................where？I dont see it
BR：Open your control panels
XB：..................where is my control panels
BR：..................Below your computer!!
XB：I dont see it in "My Computer"
BR：.......Forget it，just forget everything i said
later on~~
BR：I am now in control of your PC again
XB：oh~~
BR： ....scared？！
XB：what good timing，can you help clear those annoying virus? these days there are alot of them in my PC
BR：...........
then........
XB：why do you always come and go as you please?
BR：well....you could always use a firewall
XB：but.......if there is a firewall, then u wont be able to access my PC
BR：its not that，its just that i wanna have more fun hacking ur PC，if its secureless like this its real damn
boring
so...........
XB：i heard that u can create "virus"？！
BR：ya~
XB：then u can control anybody's PC right？！
BR：normally
XB：then can you hack anytime anywhere？
BR：of course，why do you think they call us hackers or black rogues？
XB：..........ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~`i thought is because u all are black~~~
BR：“wakau..............~~”
after........
BR：Here i am again！！
XB：dont you feel the least tired of coming in everyday？
BR：it is, your PC is the worst i have ever seen
XB：no way! how can it be?
BR：i mean besides those free games from microsoft, the other files are the tonnes of virus and spyware
taking up ur harddisk space
XB：oh~~?then have you seen my “solitaire”?，i remember its sumwhere~ i know i have it
BR：。。。。。sayonara
soon......
BR：hi~~~back i am！
XB：wah~ long time no see~ been blocked by my firewall?
BR： wakakaka，you are joking right? your PC is even easier to control than my own~
XB：i hope that u can help me something
BR：what is it?
XB：can you hack into the electric company's system?
BR： .......what you wan me to do?！！
XB：please ya，help clear this months electric bill for me
BR：go to hell！！
later..........
BR：where the hell you've been？！！！
XB：ah~ i went on a vacation
BR：i am finding something
XB：what you wanna find in my PC?
BR：a virus，a very old 1 dat i made，only you have it
sometime........
BR：here i come！！
.............................(silence)
BR：whats with the cold shoulder？
XB：i not in a good mood
BR：somebody bully u？
XB：i lost my ICQ，my 1st love picture is left there
BR：easy easy，i'll help u to get
XB：impossible
BR：nothing is impossible，tell me，what is ur ICQ number？i'll just hack for the password
XB：mmmmmmmmm..........that is the reason...........i forgot
tomolo?
XB：GET UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP！！！！
BR： ？！
XB：did you use my ID in some weird forum？！！
BR：.....sorry about that~ wanted to tell you.but dont worry，i only pasted some lame topic, i promise it wont happen again
XB：no way！！！
BR：then else what u wan？
XB：that topic you post is 1 of the hot items ppl spamming now，its my 1st and only topic which is so hot，i like it~ do summore~
BR：faint*！
BR：hehe i just did sumthing ammusing~
XB：what?
BR：i bumped up a post
XB：thats very normal
BR：my bump include "fuk your mom lah loser admin!" ， its really de-stressing
BR：wasai，overwhelming， i never dared to do such thing，you will get banned！
BR：but of course，its already done
XB：and this is ammusing？！
BR：ya~ cause that is your ID
XB：u pro right？
BR：if u feel so, then yes
XB：how pro r u？
BR：when i am bored i even am able to hack myself
XB：ha，i can do that too！
BR： #￥% WTF！YOU CAN!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?？！
XB：ya，i just go find sumone else's PC and turn it on, so i hacked (i am in control of )
the PC already
BR：DUI!!!！
BR was admitted into a hospital for quite a while..........
XB：i think i should visit you~
BR：...........this.....、isnt a good idea........why u wanna see me?
XB：i wanna know whether you are what i dream of
BR：aaa ，how do you think i look like？
XB：very handsome and sexy，wears tights，and very unique，able to go just anywhere，saving the world~
BR：............tai lou, you r talking about spiderman lah！
BR：i am back again from the last visit from the last visit from the last visit！ watcha doing?
XB：i am thinking
BR：oh？！thinking?what?
XB：i am thinking of the ways to keep you out
BR：heheheheheee....，so what have you got？
XB：be very afraid！
BR：........what is it？
XB： i'll just have to go to my router and caps it at 1KBps，like that you cant come in at all，cause its too tiny for u to come in，lalalalala~~~~~
BR：......
XB：everyday u come in, is my PC really that worth intruding?
BR：ya, its worth every effort！
XB：why is it so worth it?
BR：I am wondering, why a PC full of virus like urs still wont have a system crash
XB：ah~ i know why！
BR：............WTF #￥%！how？！how？！how？！how？
XB：easy！the virus are killing each other and not killing my PC
XB：i also wanna hack into you PC
BR：no can do，i will go crazy if you do that!
XB：but its so unfair！！
BR：emm，ok，then i'll give u this chance
XB：............but...........i duno how.........
BR：ngak ngak~~~y u think i agree to let u?！
BR：I am back again and again and again once more!
XB：this may be the last time we meet
BR：:blink: oh？what happened？
XB：i am gonna reformat，then protect with bundles of antivirus and firewall programs，how is that?
BR：so you really do hate me..............ok~ so this is good bye ya~
XB：em...hey....，wait！！teach me how to reformat first！
BR：..............................
BR：its late, dont u think u should get offline？
XB：oh，ya hor，then i'll be unplugging the socket now
BR：eh wait！you dunno how to shut down？
BR：i know ar，but everytime i press shut down，it hangs，so i just unplug it everytime
BR：then you have to change some settings : open
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows NT\
CurrentVersion\Winlogon, at Winlogon right click，choose “new” → “name”，insert
“PowerdownAfterShutdown”，and initialized the values to 1，then from now on it
will shut down properly
XB：...........i think i''ll just unplug
XB：u r great right?
BR：ok ok lah
XB：lies！show me sumthing! gimme a trojan that can shut down my PC
BR：easy stuff！just u wait
(sending.............)
BR：hahahah，done，feel the wrath of my hacking power!!
XB：hehee，thx lah~~~~i am surfing outside，just wanted u to help me shut down
BR：*feint*~~~~
2008年6月28日星期六
lengzai vs yongsui XD
kalau lelaki handsome pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap:: woow, cool giler...
kalau lelaki tak handsome pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap: eh perasan bagus...
kalau lelaki handsome berbuat jahat
Perempuan akan kata: nobody's perfect
kalau lelaki tak handsome berbuat jahat
perempuan akan cakap: memang.... muka pun macam pecah rumah!
kalau lelaki handsome menolong perempuan yg diganggu
perempuan akan cakap: wah.. machonya.. macam hero filem!
kalau lelaki tak handsome menolong perempuan yang diganggu
Perempuan akan kata: entah2 kawan dia...
kalau lelaki handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: sepadan sangat...
kalau lelaki tak handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: mesti kena bomoh perempuan tuh!
kalau lelaki handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata: jangan sedih, kan saya ada..
kalau lelaki tak handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata:...(terdiam, tapi telunjuknya
meliuk-liuk dari atas ke bawah, patutlah, tengok saja luarannya)...
kalau lelaki handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: perasaannya halus...penuh kasih sayang
kalau lelaki tak handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: sesama keluarga memang harus menyayangi...
kalau lelaki handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: matching... hebat luar dalam
kalau lelaki tak handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: bang, bosnya mana?...
kalau lelaki handsome menuang air ke gelas perempuan
perempuan akan cakap:ini barulah lelaki gentlemen
kalau lelaki tak handsome menuang air ke gelas perempuan
perempuan akan cakap: naluri pembantu, memang begitu....
kalau lelaki handsome hantar komen dlm friendster..cepat2 dibalas..kalau lelaki xhandsome dia akan ckp buang masa je layan..
NASIB KAMI LELAKI XHANDSOME....
ok my rojak translation:
if lengzai is quiet, guai-guai
girls will say: wow dem cool la
if yongsui is quiet, guai-guai
girls will say: ceh like he think so yeng 1
if lengzai do something bad
girls will say: nobody's perfect
if yongsui do something bad
girls will say: suits his face lor... face like broken home 1
if lengzai help harrassed girls
girls will say: wa dem macho la ... like film hero 1
if yongsui help harrassed girls
girls will say: maybe tht's her fren lor
if lengzai get lenglui
girls will say: wah perfect match oh
if yongsui get lenglui
girls will say: she must be kena possessed de
if lengzai kena dumped by girls
girls will say: dun be sad, u got me ma
if yongsui kena dumped by girls
girls will say: *speechless while pointing him up n down* u just see how yongsui he is lor...
if lengzai loves animals
girls will say: wah so loving n caring
if yongsui loves animals
girls will say: face like animals, sure will love their own kind la
if lengzai drives BMW
girls will say: wah from face to car, all leng!
if yongsui drives BMW
girls will say: bro, where's the boss?
if lengzai pours water on girl's glass
girls will say: very gentleman la this fella
if yongsui pours water on girls' glass
girls will say: maid's instinct, sure like tht lo
if lengzai gives comments in friendster, sure reply fast 1, if yongsui, waste time oni
OUR FATE AS YONGSUI...
Perempuan akan cakap:: woow, cool giler...
kalau lelaki tak handsome pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap: eh perasan bagus...
kalau lelaki handsome berbuat jahat
Perempuan akan kata: nobody's perfect
kalau lelaki tak handsome berbuat jahat
perempuan akan cakap: memang.... muka pun macam pecah rumah!
kalau lelaki handsome menolong perempuan yg diganggu
perempuan akan cakap: wah.. machonya.. macam hero filem!
kalau lelaki tak handsome menolong perempuan yang diganggu
Perempuan akan kata: entah2 kawan dia...
kalau lelaki handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: sepadan sangat...
kalau lelaki tak handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: mesti kena bomoh perempuan tuh!
kalau lelaki handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata: jangan sedih, kan saya ada..
kalau lelaki tak handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata:...(terdiam, tapi telunjuknya
meliuk-liuk dari atas ke bawah, patutlah, tengok saja luarannya)...
kalau lelaki handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: perasaannya halus...penuh kasih sayang
kalau lelaki tak handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: sesama keluarga memang harus menyayangi...
kalau lelaki handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: matching... hebat luar dalam
kalau lelaki tak handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: bang, bosnya mana?...
kalau lelaki handsome menuang air ke gelas perempuan
perempuan akan cakap:ini barulah lelaki gentlemen
kalau lelaki tak handsome menuang air ke gelas perempuan
perempuan akan cakap: naluri pembantu, memang begitu....
kalau lelaki handsome hantar komen dlm friendster..cepat2 dibalas..kalau lelaki xhandsome dia akan ckp buang masa je layan..
NASIB KAMI LELAKI XHANDSOME....
ok my rojak translation:
if lengzai is quiet, guai-guai
girls will say: wow dem cool la
if yongsui is quiet, guai-guai
girls will say: ceh like he think so yeng 1
if lengzai do something bad
girls will say: nobody's perfect
if yongsui do something bad
girls will say: suits his face lor... face like broken home 1
if lengzai help harrassed girls
girls will say: wa dem macho la ... like film hero 1
if yongsui help harrassed girls
girls will say: maybe tht's her fren lor
if lengzai get lenglui
girls will say: wah perfect match oh
if yongsui get lenglui
girls will say: she must be kena possessed de
if lengzai kena dumped by girls
girls will say: dun be sad, u got me ma
if yongsui kena dumped by girls
girls will say: *speechless while pointing him up n down* u just see how yongsui he is lor...
if lengzai loves animals
girls will say: wah so loving n caring
if yongsui loves animals
girls will say: face like animals, sure will love their own kind la
if lengzai drives BMW
girls will say: wah from face to car, all leng!
if yongsui drives BMW
girls will say: bro, where's the boss?
if lengzai pours water on girl's glass
girls will say: very gentleman la this fella
if yongsui pours water on girls' glass
girls will say: maid's instinct, sure like tht lo
if lengzai gives comments in friendster, sure reply fast 1, if yongsui, waste time oni
OUR FATE AS YONGSUI...
Ah beng job interview
i wonder u all have seen this cos i have heard of it but didnt really understand xD
Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"
Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"
"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"
Ah Beng got the job.
Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"
Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"
"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"
Ah Beng got the job.
jokes
Teacher: Ted, if your father
has $10
and you ask him for $6, how much would
your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know Maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your
results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report
book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that, but I'm going
Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you
now.
Father: Why did you fail your
Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8.
On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do
I know the right answer?
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 1 year older then me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I
was born
Teacher: Simon, your composition
on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
Simon: No, teacher. It's the same dog!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it
impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Singapore , Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me, Sir.
has $10
and you ask him for $6, how much would
your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know Maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your
results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report
book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that, but I'm going
Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you
now.
Father: Why did you fail your
Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8.
On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do
I know the right answer?
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 1 year older then me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I
was born
Teacher: Simon, your composition
on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
Simon: No, teacher. It's the same dog!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it
impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Singapore , Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me, Sir.
Big Apple Donuts
The shop Big Apple Donuts located inside the spring, still many ppl waiting there, business so good!! We order 10 boxs total 120 donuts!!! All the ppl there look at us...@.@ waaa...buy so many!! they said at back lo. Spend rm220!!
Price of each donuts is rm2.30, if buy 6pc in one box then RM12, if buy 12pc in one box then RM22. Got many favor, around 23-24 taste.
How they make donut?
outside d shop
donuts
Price of each donuts is rm2.30, if buy 6pc in one box then RM12, if buy 12pc in one box then RM22. Got many favor, around 23-24 taste.
How they make donut?
outside d shop
donuts
2008年6月27日星期五
机长打瞌睡 印航「过站不停」
印度国营的印度航空（Air India）发生飞机「过站不停」的离谱状况，载有100名乘客的飞机，两个驾驶员竟然都在驾驶舱呼呼大睡，接近目的地孟买时既没有下降，也没有跟塔台联络，还一度引发劫机疑云。
机场15公里折返
这起虚惊发生在本月4日凌晨，《印度时报》指出，印航一架由杜拜经斋浦尔转孟买的客机，在接近孟买上空时，没依照例行程序缓降高度准备降落，对塔台的呼叫也没有回应，就这样飞越机场，继续朝南前进，地面人员还以为飞机遭劫持，赶紧启动特定的高频率通讯模式，通讯器的鸣叫声才惊醒机长与副驾驶，这时飞机已超越孟买机场15公里，机长掉转方向，回孟买降落。
消息传出后印航极力否认飞行员曾在机舱打瞌睡，痛斥媒体报导「杜撰想像又不负责任」，只承认当天曾有通讯不灵问题，飞机超越目的地一小段距离，但机长很快就修正错误。今年2月，美国夏威夷民航Go航空也曾发生类似事件，机长因劳累而打瞌睡，飞越机场上空18分钟后才惊醒过来，美国航管当局随即研究亡羊补牢之道，并建议航空公司别让飞行员超时工作。
机场15公里折返
这起虚惊发生在本月4日凌晨，《印度时报》指出，印航一架由杜拜经斋浦尔转孟买的客机，在接近孟买上空时，没依照例行程序缓降高度准备降落，对塔台的呼叫也没有回应，就这样飞越机场，继续朝南前进，地面人员还以为飞机遭劫持，赶紧启动特定的高频率通讯模式，通讯器的鸣叫声才惊醒机长与副驾驶，这时飞机已超越孟买机场15公里，机长掉转方向，回孟买降落。
消息传出后印航极力否认飞行员曾在机舱打瞌睡，痛斥媒体报导「杜撰想像又不负责任」，只承认当天曾有通讯不灵问题，飞机超越目的地一小段距离，但机长很快就修正错误。今年2月，美国夏威夷民航Go航空也曾发生类似事件，机长因劳累而打瞌睡，飞越机场上空18分钟后才惊醒过来，美国航管当局随即研究亡羊补牢之道，并建议航空公司别让飞行员超时工作。
Look alike
goosshhhhhh...
a random guy...and he look alike santan from dragon ball...should ask him act in da movie..
笨贼以为自己隐形
巫师施咒就可以隐形？相信没有人会相信吧！不过，伊朗一名男子却相信，他不但付钱让一名巫师下“隐形咒”，还真的以为自己隐了形，并直走入德黑兰一间银行，抢走银行顾客的金钱，结果当场被制伏。当局现正追捕为该名男子下咒的巫师。
伊朗官方报章《Jam-eJam》报道，这名相信巫术的“蠢贼”，最近走去拜访一位巫师，向巫师交了290英镑（约2千零20令吉）的费用，让巫师为他下“隐形咒”，以为从此就可随心所欲，以隐形之身打劫银行，想偷多少钱就偷多少钱，神不知鬼不觉。
当场被制伏才知上当
隐了形，下一步当然是往打劫“发大财”，男子于是大模大样走入德黑兰一间银行内，直接从顾客手上抢走现金；眼白白看手上的钱被这名男子抢去，顾客当然不会放过他，并在当场将他制伏，送交警方处理。
这名男子在法庭上后悔地说：“我做错了，我现在知道自己上了当，被人哄骗了。”
现在德黑兰的警方，正四处找寻为这名男子下咒的假巫师。
伊朗官方报章《Jam-eJam》报道，这名相信巫术的“蠢贼”，最近走去拜访一位巫师，向巫师交了290英镑（约2千零20令吉）的费用，让巫师为他下“隐形咒”，以为从此就可随心所欲，以隐形之身打劫银行，想偷多少钱就偷多少钱，神不知鬼不觉。
当场被制伏才知上当
隐了形，下一步当然是往打劫“发大财”，男子于是大模大样走入德黑兰一间银行内，直接从顾客手上抢走现金；眼白白看手上的钱被这名男子抢去，顾客当然不会放过他，并在当场将他制伏，送交警方处理。
这名男子在法庭上后悔地说：“我做错了，我现在知道自己上了当，被人哄骗了。”
现在德黑兰的警方，正四处找寻为这名男子下咒的假巫师。
Malaysian's Excuses
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Ajinomoto
NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD :
Maggi Mee.
NATIONAL BREAKFAST :
Nasi Lemak
NATIONAL LUNCH :
Chicken Rice
NATIONAL SUPPER :
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam.
NATIONAL CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.
So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack,any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple.
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything...
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning.
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around,
early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough,
aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet,
sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up,
haven't showered, no water supply, going to watch " Desperate Housewives ", depress, no mood, etc...
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :
Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are all
"dried up".
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon : Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA :
Moh Fah Kor.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.
NATIONAL DANCING SHOE (FOR LINE DANCE):
Bloch.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.
NATIONAL WATCH :
Petaling Street "boutique" watch
NATIONAL WATCH FOR YUPPIES :
Petaling Street "boutique" Rolex
NATIONAL RICE COOKER :
"Pensonic" Rice Cooker
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL WARRIORS:
Mat Rempit
NATIONAL MONOPOLY ISP:
TMnut Screamyx
NATIONAL FAVOURITE QUOTES:
You tak suka, you keluar Malaysia
Ajinomoto
NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD :
Maggi Mee.
NATIONAL BREAKFAST :
Nasi Lemak
NATIONAL LUNCH :
Chicken Rice
NATIONAL SUPPER :
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam.
NATIONAL CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.
So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack,any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple.
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything...
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning.
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around,
early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough,
aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet,
sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up,
haven't showered, no water supply, going to watch " Desperate Housewives ", depress, no mood, etc...
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :
Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are all
"dried up".
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon : Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA :
Moh Fah Kor.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.
NATIONAL DANCING SHOE (FOR LINE DANCE):
Bloch.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.
NATIONAL WATCH :
Petaling Street "boutique" watch
NATIONAL WATCH FOR YUPPIES :
Petaling Street "boutique" Rolex
NATIONAL RICE COOKER :
"Pensonic" Rice Cooker
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL WARRIORS:
Mat Rempit
NATIONAL MONOPOLY ISP:
TMnut Screamyx
NATIONAL FAVOURITE QUOTES:
You tak suka, you keluar Malaysia
Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang
(Mandarin)-Dirty
Anne Chin
(Mandarin) - Keep quiet
Faye Chen
(Mandarin) - Dusty
Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock
Monica Cheng
Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks
Lucy Leow
(Hokkien) - You are dead
Jane Tan
(Mandarin) - Frying eggs
Suzie Leow
(Hokkien) - Lost till death
Henry Mah
(Mandarin) - Hate your mum
Corrine Tai
(Hokkien) - Poor fellow
Paul Chan
(Mandarin) - Bankrupt
Nelson Tan
(Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs
Leslie Tong
(Mandarin) - Rubbish bin
Carmen Teng
(Hokkien) - Leg hair long
Connie Mah
(Cantonese) - Call your mother
Danny See
(Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death
Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - Screws and nails
Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - Nose droppings
Macy Koh
(Cantonese) - Never die before
Anne Chang
(Mandarin)-Dirty
Anne Chin
(Mandarin) - Keep quiet
Faye Chen
(Mandarin) - Dusty
Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock
Monica Cheng
Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks
Lucy Leow
(Hokkien) - You are dead
Jane Tan
(Mandarin) - Frying eggs
Suzie Leow
(Hokkien) - Lost till death
Henry Mah
(Mandarin) - Hate your mum
Corrine Tai
(Hokkien) - Poor fellow
Paul Chan
(Mandarin) - Bankrupt
Nelson Tan
(Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs
Leslie Tong
(Mandarin) - Rubbish bin
Carmen Teng
(Hokkien) - Leg hair long
Connie Mah
(Cantonese) - Call your mother
Danny See
(Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death
Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - Screws and nails
Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - Nose droppings
Macy Koh
(Cantonese) - Never die before
I e-meow U, U e-meow me
Muahaha... so farnieee…. Dear Ah Lian
Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.
You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.
You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok.
Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.
Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.
I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye.....
Worm regard,
Ah Beng
Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.
You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.
You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok.
Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.
Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.
I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye.....
Worm regard,
Ah Beng
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